Skip to main content

Jailhouse Rock (Irish style)

In Ireland it's perfectly possible to find yourself in prison without actually having committed a crime Failing to pay your tv licence is not the only way! ...I have also noticed over the years its' perfectly possible to commit a crime and walk away a happy man.

I have already mentioned the marathon 3 month stay last year and the unseasonable but not out of character for Ireland snow. During this particular pleasant stay, the patient call bells kept wailing and because of the snow there weren't any food delivery trucks. Patients were having a lack of visitors. I can only speculate there were people wandering around on their third day in a pair of underwear!

Patients were happy in their knowledge that staff and doctors were forced to endure the very same beds they were not getting any sleep in. I had gone several days without a coffee and I might have throttled someone if I saw one more egg sandwich on my plate.

One of the very few benefits of being deaf is that I was spared the cacophony of patients screaming nurse. I'm not blind enough to be spared the sight of egg sandwiches (thank God). A friend of  mine sent me a text asking me what I wanted for my birthday. I told her a snow plough and a decent sandwich. Cup of coffee would have been nice too.

You probably get better food in prison and you have laundry facilities. I'd hazard a guess that the beds are a bit better too. These days a hospital stay is a byob situation, but it is more comfortable in your own bed!!!!!!

Snow is falling all around us
patients screaming, calling nurse
Tis the reason Im losing my marbles
Take a chill pill everyone!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Life Under the Knife

Hello, is it fun you're looking for? I suppose I'd better explain myself before things get weird. < Last year I was in hospital for over 3 months. My Dad visited me every day with coffee and cakes (thank you Dad)!!!. We were chatting one day when I said "Do you remember people telling Mam that she should write a book?" ( sadly she took the stairway to heaven 3 years ago). I said to my Dad "Can you imagine the book we could have written together?" You see the condition that we both suffer from is called Neurofibromatosis type 2 (NF2). We were both in and out of hospital pretty much all of our lives. I was thinking to myself that I don't have enough for a book, but maybe a blog. The craziest things happen to me and around me. What's one thing I do have? Stories so crazy, they'd make you question reality. I was pretty much completely blind, so I had nothing to do but think. I tried to remember the 20 years worth of stories and I have a me...
1 comment
Read more

Breakfast at Elizabeth's

I had your average childhood but I didn't have your average granny! She was famous for three things: the cardigans she knit, her big heart and the fact she was the biggest messer going! I lived around the corner from her so I spent a lot of time in her house. That said, even the cousins that lived far away spent all their time there too. We had two types of sleepovers in her house, sleeping in the front room in a normal fashion where you woke up with somebody's foot in your face  - you were luck it was a foot! or sleeping in the back garden in a tent where nanny would come out and chuck a glass of water into the tent her version of a wake up call! There were so many water fights in her house, usually started by her. She was throwing party balloons filled with water before water balloons were a thing. She'd whip out the garden hose at a moments notice or feck a glass of water out the kitchen door as we sunbathed in the back garden. We all wanted to go to her house to play ...
1 comment
Read more

Let's (not) talk about sex

The highway of communication is fraught with misinterpretation, innuendos and blushes.  The learner driver of a new language can find themselves in uncomfortable but hilarious situations! Learning the alphabet has never been so dangerous ( this has been proven to me time and again) as it is when it is sign language alphabet. Your hands can find themselves in very sticky situations!!!!! You have to be very specific when you are talking about parts of the human anatomy. A friend was helping me through the process of signing into hospital through the doctor. He asked the usual admission questions Are you a smoker? I admitted to smoking a joint when I was 18. One particular question . had me stumped. A friend kept asking me the same question I repeated louder and louder "bowls" Every patient on the ward was looking for the sick bowls. Eventually my friend asked the doctor how to spell the word. She forgot that my poo had an e in it. Not long after this incident, a younger c...
Post a Comment
Read more