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Life Under the Knife

Hello, is it fun you're looking for?


I suppose I'd better explain myself before things get weird.
< Last year I was in hospital for over 3 months. My Dad visited me every day with coffee and cakes (thank you Dad)!!!. We were chatting one day when I said "Do you remember people telling Mam that she should write a book?" ( sadly she took the stairway to heaven 3 years ago).
I said to my Dad "Can you imagine the book we could have written together?" You see the condition that we both suffer from is called Neurofibromatosis type 2 (NF2). We were both in and out of hospital pretty much all of our lives.

I was thinking to myself that I don't have enough for a book, but maybe a blog. The craziest things happen to me and around me. What's one thing I do have? Stories so crazy, they'd make you question reality.
I was pretty much completely blind, so I had nothing to do but think. I tried to remember the 20 years worth of stories and I have a memory like a giant sieve!!. Thankfully most of the really funny stuff happened in the last 5 years or so. Trying to remember stuff was like throwing darts blindfolded!!

When I had somebody with me, I asked them to take down a few notes. Some of the things I asked them to write down had them very confused! "What is a shotgun shit?!"
Word got around the ward that I was doing a kind of book/blog thing. I thought to myself bloody hell stop telling everyone or everyone will be playing it so safe that the funny stuff would stop happening!

When I came home, I started putting my stories together in a glamorous shiny notebook! Completely by chance my stories were parodies of songs. I could hear until I was 13 so I knew a lot of music.  You will notice a lot of puns - I love puns! I'm blind and deaf and am thoroughly enjoying suffering  from a crazed personality so I needed help with all of these stories and that is where my sister from another mister and my mother from another brother come in. It's like we have the same brain or something. We like the same things and always thinking the same thing, maybe that's what NF2 is - evolution trying to find a way for humans to develop sixth senses like telepathy. WE both really like the song Under the Sea from the little mermaid. One day she said to me you should name one of your stories from under the sea but I couldn't think of anywhere it would fit. I thought of under the knife then I thought Oh my God I should call the blog Life Under The Knife! I have had 42 surgeries mostly brain and spine.  Its perfect! I'll try to keep it semi-clean.



Comments

  1. I just read all of your blog posts and had a good chuckle. Keep writing!

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