Skip to main content

Pop Goes the Eyeball

This is a bit of a shakespearean story. I had a raven called quotes after my eyeballs. When I was about 4 they were trying to see why I couldn't see very well. So I had a exploratory surgery to pop the eyeballs out to have a look. I always tried to make the best of my hospital stays even at that age. When things are shit, keep it funny. I used to joyride on the laundry cart as the nurses went around changing the beds and try and score some jelly when the food was being put away if there were any unopened pots. That was also the year I was introduced to horror and stuff I shouldn't be watching on television. The nurses set me up on a comfy chair in front of the telly one night not realising that I had switched the channel over to Day of the Tryffids!

I gave plants and flowers dirty looks and sideways glances for ages after this!! It did start a trend where I would sneak out of bed and watch things that I shouldn't be watching! Prisoner Cell Block H to name but one.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Life Under the Knife

Hello, is it fun you're looking for? I suppose I'd better explain myself before things get weird. < Last year I was in hospital for over 3 months. My Dad visited me every day with coffee and cakes (thank you Dad)!!!. We were chatting one day when I said "Do you remember people telling Mam that she should write a book?" ( sadly she took the stairway to heaven 3 years ago). I said to my Dad "Can you imagine the book we could have written together?" You see the condition that we both suffer from is called Neurofibromatosis type 2 (NF2). We were both in and out of hospital pretty much all of our lives. I was thinking to myself that I don't have enough for a book, but maybe a blog. The craziest things happen to me and around me. What's one thing I do have? Stories so crazy, they'd make you question reality. I was pretty much completely blind, so I had nothing to do but think. I tried to remember the 20 years worth of stories and I have a me...
1 comment
Read more

Breakfast at Elizabeth's

I had your average childhood but I didn't have your average granny! She was famous for three things: the cardigans she knit, her big heart and the fact she was the biggest messer going! I lived around the corner from her so I spent a lot of time in her house. That said, even the cousins that lived far away spent all their time there too. We had two types of sleepovers in her house, sleeping in the front room in a normal fashion where you woke up with somebody's foot in your face  - you were luck it was a foot! or sleeping in the back garden in a tent where nanny would come out and chuck a glass of water into the tent her version of a wake up call! There were so many water fights in her house, usually started by her. She was throwing party balloons filled with water before water balloons were a thing. She'd whip out the garden hose at a moments notice or feck a glass of water out the kitchen door as we sunbathed in the back garden. We all wanted to go to her house to play ...
1 comment
Read more

Go ahead, bake my cake

Alcohol comes with a warning on the bottle, baking supplies do not (probably should). In a parallel universe, a carer was asked to bake a cake, a delicious recipe for a irish bomb cake was supplied (for those who are curious: chocolate cake batter with Guinness stout in it, irish whiskey ganache in the centre and baileys buttercream icing! You haven't lived until your taste buds explode with this cake). Some carers should come with a warning too (!) We needed a birthday cake, who doesn't need a bit of cake from time to time?! Normally when you blow out the candles, you share out the cake. In this case, when the candles were blown out, we had to get out a hand saw! Even the hand saw got stuck in the cake. The question is was it a cake or a homemade brick?! Irish car bomb cake is supposed to be explosive, this cake wouldn't explode anything but you could definitely use it as a weapon by throwing it at somebody. The recipe was for cupcakes, and somebody forgot to increase ...
Post a Comment
Read more