Skip to main content

Sweets for my teeth

Some things in life should be taken very seriously indeed. Jellies, sweets, candy is one of them. One's junk food is a serious business.

Playing candy crush in hospital is a great way to pass the time. If you play it like I do, you don't even need a phone! The nurses never know what they will find lying around when I'm on the ward. Cola bottles two beds down. Jelly beans on the other side of the room. jelly snakes falling out of your nightie. (That one was a particular surprise to the nurse). I don't know how they got there *** I wish they were in my stomach. The possibilities for snakes and ladders, jelly snake puzzles and hide and seek are endless! Its a great way to beat hospital boredom.

At home one evening, I had a bowl of milk teeth jellies. One of the lovely ladies that looks after me says that her brother in law works in a sweets warehouse. I got to work stuffing my face in the ladylike was that I do (!). When she came in half an hour later, I had the bowl in my arms, I said to her I'm going to need your brother in law's phone number and a copy of his work ID. I didn't notice she was on the phone..... to her brother in law asking him to get me a box of milk teeth! She asked me if there was anything else I might like, that is a war and peace length list!! I asked for a couple of things that I haven't had since I was a kid - giant mushrooms, (or as I call them, nipples), and large smiley faces. She arrived a few days later with all three boxes. I went to sleep with a smile on my face. Seriously I woke up with a smiley stuck to my cheek!

I have visited enormous sweet shops (in other countries of course) not in Ireland, we are not cool enough for that. As soon as I cross the doorway, (music:
Love is in the air, everywhere I look around
Love is in the air, every sight and every sound
I don't know if I'm feeling peckish
I don't know if I'm being wild
But it's something that I must be eating
And it's there when I look in your aisles.

Some people are addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, gambling, collecting stamps! I have been addicted to collecting many things over the years. Weirdly shaped soaps is a memorable one. I'm a firm believer if the shoe fits, buy them in every colour! My first love is jellies and true love lasts forever.













Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's my fanny and I'll sing if I want to

In order to be true to art ( and comedy is an art without the mess and the clean up job. Unless somebody wets themselves, then we are in trouble). I have to share a certain amount of embarrassing and private information - goo job I find things like that hilarious. Here we go: An alternative title to this story could have been 34 years I've been living next door to Chucky, Chucky, Chucky who the fuck is Chucky?  Much to my disgust, Chucky and I have been neighbours for years, the kind of neighbour you want to get rid of because of anti-social behaviour! I never went there for a bowl of sugar anyway.! There was never any danger of me having kids - ladies and gentlemen the universe decided I needed a pain in the hole and gave me a tumour on my lady parts. I have 2 experiences with a gynaecologist and they are both hilarious. When I reached the age of 25, I was all sensible and started doing the smear thing. The tests kept coming back weird probably because of the NF2. So I had to ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Life Under the Knife

Hello, is it fun you're looking for? I suppose I'd better explain myself before things get weird. < Last year I was in hospital for over 3 months. My Dad visited me every day with coffee and cakes (thank you Dad)!!!. We were chatting one day when I said "Do you remember people telling Mam that she should write a book?" ( sadly she took the stairway to heaven 3 years ago). I said to my Dad "Can you imagine the book we could have written together?" You see the condition that we both suffer from is called Neurofibromatosis type 2 (NF2). We were both in and out of hospital pretty much all of our lives. I was thinking to myself that I don't have enough for a book, but maybe a blog. The craziest things happen to me and around me. What's one thing I do have? Stories so crazy, they'd make you question reality. I was pretty much completely blind, so I had nothing to do but think. I tried to remember the 20 years worth of stories and I have a me...
1 comment
Read more

Breakfast at Elizabeth's

I had your average childhood but I didn't have your average granny! She was famous for three things: the cardigans she knit, her big heart and the fact she was the biggest messer going! I lived around the corner from her so I spent a lot of time in her house. That said, even the cousins that lived far away spent all their time there too. We had two types of sleepovers in her house, sleeping in the front room in a normal fashion where you woke up with somebody's foot in your face  - you were luck it was a foot! or sleeping in the back garden in a tent where nanny would come out and chuck a glass of water into the tent her version of a wake up call! There were so many water fights in her house, usually started by her. She was throwing party balloons filled with water before water balloons were a thing. She'd whip out the garden hose at a moments notice or feck a glass of water out the kitchen door as we sunbathed in the back garden. We all wanted to go to her house to play ...
1 comment
Read more