spreading you light like the star you are

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It's my fanny and I'll sing if I want to

In order to be true to art ( and comedy is an art without the mess and the clean up job. Unless somebody wets themselves, then we are in trouble). I have to share a certain amount of embarrassing and private information - goo job I find things like that hilarious. Here we go: An alternative title to this story could have been 34 years I've been living next door to Chucky, Chucky, Chucky who the fuck is Chucky? Much to my disgust, Chucky and I have been neighbours for years, the kind of neighbour you want to get rid of because of anti-social behaviour! I never went there for a bowl of sugar anyway.! There was never any danger of me having kids - ladies and gentlemen the universe decided I needed a pain in the hole and gave me a tumour on my lady parts. I have 2 experiences with a gynaecologist and they are both hilarious. When I reached the age of 25, I was all sensible and started doing the smear thing. The tests kept coming back weird probably because of the NF2. So I had to ...

Life Under the Knife

Hello, is it fun you're looking for? I suppose I'd better explain myself before things get weird. < Last year I was in hospital for over 3 months. My Dad visited me every day with coffee and cakes (thank you Dad)!!!. We were chatting one day when I said "Do you remember people telling Mam that she should write a book?" ( sadly she took the stairway to heaven 3 years ago). I said to my Dad "Can you imagine the book we could have written together?" You see the condition that we both suffer from is called Neurofibromatosis type 2 (NF2). We were both in and out of hospital pretty much all of our lives. I was thinking to myself that I don't have enough for a book, but maybe a blog. The craziest things happen to me and around me. What's one thing I do have? Stories so crazy, they'd make you question reality. I was pretty much completely blind, so I had nothing to do but think. I tried to remember the 20 years worth of stories and I have a me...

Breakfast at Elizabeth's

I had your average childhood but I didn't have your average granny! She was famous for three things: the cardigans she knit, her big heart and the fact she was the biggest messer going! I lived around the corner from her so I spent a lot of time in her house. That said, even the cousins that lived far away spent all their time there too. We had two types of sleepovers in her house, sleeping in the front room in a normal fashion where you woke up with somebody's foot in your face - you were luck it was a foot! or sleeping in the back garden in a tent where nanny would come out and chuck a glass of water into the tent her version of a wake up call! There were so many water fights in her house, usually started by her. She was throwing party balloons filled with water before water balloons were a thing. She'd whip out the garden hose at a moments notice or feck a glass of water out the kitchen door as we sunbathed in the back garden. We all wanted to go to her house to play ...

Life Under The Knife

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