Skip to main content

shave me one more time

There are times I left hospital with more hair on my legs than my head, who ever was in charge of the razor in the hospital ( its definitely a man).
Unfortunately I had inadvertently  admitted that I had legs like a yeti, it keeps me warm anyway. I had been guilty of going on a rampage with the razor in my early 20s. I decided to do a evening course in dog grooming. I had two models, Daisy had feck all hair but I do have a shaggy dog (Juno the jack Russell). As my confidence grew, I put together some tools. I got my hands on a razor and took Juno out my back garden and got to it. I tried real hard to cut his hair accurately and neaten up the edges. I basically had a naked dog in front of me. I stood the wrath of my mother for that one, ever since that Juno has to be sedated to be groomed, she will attack a scissors or a razor if it comes near her, the following is probably my penance for shaving our dog. Karma is a bitch and it  bites

The first time I did a Britney spears I was 26 they had shaved off the majority of my hair so when I got home I decided to shave off the rest myself, I have a few tattoos so I suppose I was more like Sinead O'Conner rather than Britney spears with out the singing voice, my singing would definitely bring a tear to your eyes not in a good way though I built a nice selection of scarf over the years after a while I couldn't be arsed with them.

With all of the head surgery I have had over the years I am the queen of the comb over now my hair split has moved around more than my bowls have opened, I had a comb over so extreme that I would have put Donald trumps hair to shame after my most resent rendezvous with the hospital razor, some complete savage shaved a fat line alone my hair line the side of my head and the back they weren't  even operating there I looked like I had been savaged by a Demonic lawnmower. There was nothing my hairdresser could do but shave it all off. This was march and it was still very cold I enjoyed ripping my hat off and singing (oops I did it again)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Life Under the Knife

Hello, is it fun you're looking for? I suppose I'd better explain myself before things get weird. < Last year I was in hospital for over 3 months. My Dad visited me every day with coffee and cakes (thank you Dad)!!!. We were chatting one day when I said "Do you remember people telling Mam that she should write a book?" ( sadly she took the stairway to heaven 3 years ago). I said to my Dad "Can you imagine the book we could have written together?" You see the condition that we both suffer from is called Neurofibromatosis type 2 (NF2). We were both in and out of hospital pretty much all of our lives. I was thinking to myself that I don't have enough for a book, but maybe a blog. The craziest things happen to me and around me. What's one thing I do have? Stories so crazy, they'd make you question reality. I was pretty much completely blind, so I had nothing to do but think. I tried to remember the 20 years worth of stories and I have a me...
1 comment
Read more

Breakfast at Elizabeth's

I had your average childhood but I didn't have your average granny! She was famous for three things: the cardigans she knit, her big heart and the fact she was the biggest messer going! I lived around the corner from her so I spent a lot of time in her house. That said, even the cousins that lived far away spent all their time there too. We had two types of sleepovers in her house, sleeping in the front room in a normal fashion where you woke up with somebody's foot in your face  - you were luck it was a foot! or sleeping in the back garden in a tent where nanny would come out and chuck a glass of water into the tent her version of a wake up call! There were so many water fights in her house, usually started by her. She was throwing party balloons filled with water before water balloons were a thing. She'd whip out the garden hose at a moments notice or feck a glass of water out the kitchen door as we sunbathed in the back garden. We all wanted to go to her house to play ...
1 comment
Read more

Let's (not) talk about sex

The highway of communication is fraught with misinterpretation, innuendos and blushes.  The learner driver of a new language can find themselves in uncomfortable but hilarious situations! Learning the alphabet has never been so dangerous ( this has been proven to me time and again) as it is when it is sign language alphabet. Your hands can find themselves in very sticky situations!!!!! You have to be very specific when you are talking about parts of the human anatomy. A friend was helping me through the process of signing into hospital through the doctor. He asked the usual admission questions Are you a smoker? I admitted to smoking a joint when I was 18. One particular question . had me stumped. A friend kept asking me the same question I repeated louder and louder "bowls" Every patient on the ward was looking for the sick bowls. Eventually my friend asked the doctor how to spell the word. She forgot that my poo had an e in it. Not long after this incident, a younger c...
Post a Comment
Read more