Alternative title to this story is I touch my staff but if I use that I would probably loose my everyone that helps me, They are all like family. Its a bloody good pun though,
When you are blind or very short sighted, you have to be careful with your hands. Every parent knows what its like when they go to the bathroom, they have an audience my kids just happen to have paws. Before I lost the majority of my sight, there where many times I was sat on the toilet where I leant down to give somebody a scratch, Five minutes later I realised that I was scratching the toilet bowl. When I lost the majority of my sight, there were many occasions that I would have tried to grab something such as my cup and actually grabbed somebody's boob or ass, my poor aunt Bernie is still traumatised .
During the time I had my eye surgically closed, I couldn't see a thing. Every time I was trying to get out of my bed, I kicked my dad straight in his balls. He would end up on the floor and he was supposed to be helping me get out of the bed, creating a situation where we had to help each other!
As it was Christmas time and I love a good joke, I gave him a huge cardboard box inside there was a gift box. Inside that, there was gift bag with a gift box like Russian dolls and inside the last gift box there was a jockstrap ( sportsman's protection for the nuts) and one cigarette to numb the pain when he opened it. His face was priceless (so I'm told) so then I said ah dad im only joking here is the rest of your cigs , I'm still messing. I gave him his real present (model car).
The moral of the story is be careful what you scratch
When you are blind or very short sighted, you have to be careful with your hands. Every parent knows what its like when they go to the bathroom, they have an audience my kids just happen to have paws. Before I lost the majority of my sight, there where many times I was sat on the toilet where I leant down to give somebody a scratch, Five minutes later I realised that I was scratching the toilet bowl. When I lost the majority of my sight, there were many occasions that I would have tried to grab something such as my cup and actually grabbed somebody's boob or ass, my poor aunt Bernie is still traumatised .
During the time I had my eye surgically closed, I couldn't see a thing. Every time I was trying to get out of my bed, I kicked my dad straight in his balls. He would end up on the floor and he was supposed to be helping me get out of the bed, creating a situation where we had to help each other!
As it was Christmas time and I love a good joke, I gave him a huge cardboard box inside there was a gift box. Inside that, there was gift bag with a gift box like Russian dolls and inside the last gift box there was a jockstrap ( sportsman's protection for the nuts) and one cigarette to numb the pain when he opened it. His face was priceless (so I'm told) so then I said ah dad im only joking here is the rest of your cigs , I'm still messing. I gave him his real present (model car).
The moral of the story is be careful what you scratch
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