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I might as well woof

You are the Bored you will be asphyxiated, our ever selective humour will tickle your funny bone. Resistance is useless.

Disclaimer: I was a massive star trek fan I could pass as borg these days with all the metal in my body. When I lost my hearing, my biggest wish apart from getting back my ears, was to have a hand held device like a star trek tricorder that translated what people said into text. This was in 1998. Voice recognition was brutal with bells on! You had to train each individual voice for many hours and the accuracy was still like cutting and pasting random words from a book. It was feck all use. When my teachers tried to use it, it resembled a shopping list albeit a very bad one.

Fast forward to 2018 - the year I was reintroduced to voice recognition - and we have these wonderful little gadgets . Due to damaged vocal cords, I have a very bad voice I imagine its a cross between Darth Vader and snotzer from the den! So I struggle greatly with it but I do have some success. I am able to use the internet on my phone to a small extent thank god for pinch zoom! You could write a book a really weird but funny book based solely on what comes out on voice recognition but I do protest at the lack of swear words. I tried to turn off the swear word filter once however voice recognition couldn't understand anything BUT swear words. Here's a little interesting fact, you can say the word bastard because it is in the dictionary!  I really wish I could get feck though.

Towards the beginning of my loving relationship with voice recognition, one evening I was sat in my chair under the window. Voice recognition wasn't coming up with anything except woof, woof, woof.
I turned around and saw my dog barking her head off in the window. She must have great annunciation. Funnily enough, when I tried to say woof, it didn't work!

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