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I fought the floor and the floor won

The first time I had to do a Britney and shave my hair off I was 26. Hospitals are on my shit list  not it comes to head shaving for surgery. They took so much hair that a Donald style comb over was not an option. So I had to shave the lot off. With all of the scars I had I looked like ld beat somebody up. So I kept this monstrous sight covered with a scarf. I'm not sure if I did a Britney or a sinead O'Connor fyi I don't have the voice for either. I do have tattoos though. I was going to a friends bbq I
had this new pair of high heeled boots. The problem is I could never wear heels! I walk like a baby deer on an out of control aeroplane. So I go to the bbq and drink a bit too much wine, come home and struggle to take off my SEXY boots. You know when you're trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans that are 2 sizes to small? It was like that in reverse! I also had on a brand new pair of glasses. One particularly energetic tug landed me on the floor breaking my new glasses and what felt like my face.
When I woke up the next morning I had an absolutely enormous black eye and my eye was swollen shut. Here is the funniest part, depending on your perspective. I was flying to London that morning!
On the way to the airport, we stopped at a chemist to pick up an eye patch. There was no time to get a parrot! Security paid extra special attention to that!

Know your limits with fashion

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